ElijahForce ElijahForce
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Sunday 23 October 2016

ARE BEARDS COOL? SHOULD I GROW ONE

https://www.elijahforce.blogspot.com/2016/10/are-beards-cool-should-i-grow-one.htmlI love beards! I sure do
Are beards cool? Should I grow one.
Beards for men goes way back to the medieval times. It was either a sign of wealth, a sign of class or status, a religious obligation or was abolished to prevent vulnerability. In the 19th century president Lincoln made beards popular for Americans and today about 33% of American Males have facial hair while a whopping 55% of males worldwide have beards. Cool beards are more of a fashion statement, not for wealth, religious but a fashion statement.
Cool beards are the type that are trimmed, nurtured, cultured and maintained to make you look older, more respectable , powerful and of a higher status.
As cool as beards are, beards would however not make men more attractive to women. Women tend to feel intimidated by a bearded guy especially since 98% of men on the Forbes list don’t have beards but bad asses all come with beards. Most corporate organizations that offer mid-level careers to men are also against growing beards, so a lot of times, with a full nurtured cool beard, you are either working for a millennial tech giant, or your own company that manufactures dork whistles or you are just a cool classic state of art hippie.
http://www.elijahforce.blogspot.com/2016/10/are-beards-cool-should-i-grow-one.html
One of these guys runs a tech startup, the other is a state of art hippie, #GoFigure
There is a #beardgang family on Instagram and Twitter that consists of young fashionista men, making fashion statements with their cool beards and breaking all kinds of preconceived notion about beards because real men have beards. One health benefit of growing beards is that beards help to filter out dust and pollen if you have allergies, meaning that your beards is basically a dust catcher and insect trap.
In religion, while the Moslem and Sikhs seem to  favour beards growing , Christians, Mormons and a couple other religion frown at it.

To grow a beard, you simply need to

1.    Stop shaving, if it grows naturally. If it doesn’t then you need to get  help either with a beard cream, a beard oil , a beard pill or the age long low budget grow your beard fast regimen that uses  methylated spirit and cotton wools to simply dab the jawlines in the mornings and evenings after shower. Though this seem to have no scientific basis, a lot of boys and men swear by it. This would however be more harm than good if you have a facial skin that is sensitive to the alcohol in the methylated spirit. Others swear by constantly shaving any little trace of facial hair on the face to stimulate the growth of better stronger, nicer looking beards. Although the shaving of beards to make it grow has often been regarded as a myth. It still works. Just like shaving the hair of babies to make a fuller one grow, the best grow your beards fast activity might be to lose the little scattered, horrible looking beards you have to make the cool beards grow in it’s place.

Beards have been known to grow faster when the male has abstained from sex for a long time. Just ask the  Arabs, all that pent up sex energy and testosterone has to go into something. 

Although contrary to popular opinion, beards have also been known to grow faster in the summer , than in any other season.
Testosterone, vitamins supplement and zinc has been known to encourage facial hair growth in men and this is contained in most “grow your beard fast” creams.


2.    Even after you grow your beards, then the nurturing needs to  takes place. Beards would never look  good in their natural uneven glory. They need to be constantly groomed, maintained, plucked, caressed and picked for that cool beard look on the #beardgang family.
To care for your beards you would need
1.     A beard grooming kit
A complete beard grooming kit would have the following materials
1.    A beard oil
2.    A beard balm
3.    A beard wash
4.    Beard Trimmer
5.    Beard comb
6.    A toiletry bag.
 With a beard grooming kit, a medium size mirror and a little time on your hands, you are fully equipped to shape out the beards of your dreams. For professional beard carving, you might need a barber with years of beard grooming experience (yes! you have to request for his resume) to help you out.

2.     A beard brush and comb
Depending on the size of your beards, an additional beard brush and comb might be required, as the ones that come with the beard grooming kit or beard management set as it is often called might not be enough to tame the seaweed growing out of your face. Just in case you were wondering, the longest beard ever was about 17.4 feet, that is the height of two LeBron James on top of each other while standing on their heels  and it literally killed the owner when he stepped on it.
3.    A beard conditioner and relaxer.
This might be necessary if you want to make your cool beards even cooler by making it a work of art. Beard conditioners and relaxers would help give you beards a perm and are basically just hair relaxers made for the facial hair. Can I use hair relaxers for my facial hair? Just try it first and thank me later. Although with a beard relaxer also comes the need for a beard wrap because you don’t want to be rubbing that greasy beard all over the pillow or your significant other.
Beards are cool, they’ve always been and if your face is not your best feature, try growing a beard across it, to cover a significant portion of it and then constantly rock some cool sunglasses like Rick Ross.

http://elijahforce.blogspot.com/2016/10/are-beards-cool-should-i-grow-one.html
Whoo!

Saturday 11 June 2016

SPERM SWALLOWING: TO SWALLOW OR NOT TO SWALLOW

SPERM SWALLOWING: TO SWALLOW OR NOT TO SWALLOW
Sperm in this particular context is actually supposed to be semen, the male ejaculate and is rightfully defined by Mike Cunt as the   ” white squiggly liquid which causes your life to be ruined when reaches womans egg” (sic). This is the most voted definition written in April 2003 on urban dictionary, making Mike cunt some kind of legend.
Semen has so many names, cum, nut, jizz, penis pudding, seed, spunk, splooge and baby maker, to name just a few. In recent times, women and gay men have constantly debated whether to cum swallow or not.
Knowing fully well that this article is not about to change your mind on what you have already determined to do or not to do, it is important at this junction, to use the words of Jesus, "What you are about to do, do quickly.” Or in more literal terms, “fuckin just go fucking swallow the fucking jizz”.

Cum swallowing was made popular by porn, it was not done by the ancient Egyptians while they were building the pyramids, as those motherfuckers clearly needed all the energy they could get. There is no record of swallowing semen by the ancient Greeks, although it is greatly suspected and suggested, maybe I’m just too fucking dumb to do proper research. Ten years ago , this article would even have been completely strange and perverse but time always makes things more perverse.
The question here is to swallow or not to swallow.
Swallowing cum can be for three reasons.
1.    As a fetish
2.    As a health benefit.  In this case, we would have to consider the pros and the cons of swallowing that jizz.
3.    As a cultural Ritual.

Swallowing Cum as a Fetish

If you or your partner has a fetish of swallowing cum or watching the other swallow cum, then why read an article about it. Just swallow it already. No one is going to discourage you from your fetish, you pervert. You only live once and what is life without some kind of fetish. No matter how bad you feel about yourself for swallowing cum, just remember swallowing cum can never put you on TLC’s my strange addiction . To be on that program, you have to do much more crazy stuff like hair eating, tissue paper eating or be a full on cannibal.


  The only plus side to that, is that you might be making some money pretending to eat human hair or smell people’s butts.  If swallowing cum is really your fetish, then get your partner a semen booster that would increase volume of the cum right up to over 300% of what he normally shoots.

Swallowing cum for it’s health benefits.

To swallow cum for it’s health benefits, we have to way the pros and the cons .

Health benefits of swallowing semen

Semen is a nutritious cocktail. It contains fructose, ascorbic acid, protein, calcium, chlorine, DNA, magnesium, Vitamin B12, Lactic Acid, Nitrogen, Vitamin C, citric acid, Blood group antiegnes and s, zinc and cholesterol.

If semen came in containers, it would literally have this food label and it would be all natural and organic, sold at wholefoods and extremely overpriced.


1.    Mood enhancers and anti-depressants:  

this just confirms what we already know. That cunts (bitches who haven’t being laid for a while) are simply irritable because they lack sex. Semen contains cortisol which is responsible for quick burst of energy for survival reasons, increased immunity, lower sensitivity to pain, and increased memory functions. Semen also contains other mood enhancing substances like estrone and serotonin.

2.    Semen prevent morning sickness,

 if it is the same one that made you pregnant.  Jizz from your side dick might cause you to literally shit out the foetus from intense punitive stomach rumbling and pain.

3.    Cum helps you sleep better.

 Melatonin in cum helps you sleep better. The ejaculator sleeps after Cumming and the swallower also sleeps from the ingestion. Win, Win just as nature intended.

4.    Upon application on the face, known as facial, it helps to slow down aging and tighten the muscles.

5.    Cum is great for hair growth.

 In this case , the cum would have to be ingested and also sprayed on the hair.

becky with the good hair ,semen
The only reason why becky has good hair is because JayZ has been nutting on that hair.






 

 

Great Dangers of swallowing semen.

Just like anything in the world such as taking the stairs, there are risks involved. In the case of swallowing cum, there are associated risks which are all determined by the quality of cum you are eating and the penis from which it came.
Swallowing cum might put the swallower at the risk of contacting the following diseases in their throats.

1.     HPV- Human Papilloma Virus.

Since this virus is mostly unnoticed in men, but dangerous in women, it is not easily detectable in men, this is however not the case for men that sleep with men. HPV can lead to cervical cancer, genital warts or anal cancer. The body might also become wolverine and rid itself of the virus. Upon swallowing cum infected with HPV, it is immediately hosted in your throat.

2.    Chlamydia

Even though chlamydia sounds like the name of a Russian whore, it’s not as pretty as it sounds. With swallowing cum, this may become lounged in the throat.

3.    Gonorrhea

This is another curable disease that the swallower might be at risk of contracting. Others include syphilis and herpes.

  Getting tested for STI (sexual transmitted infection) might be necessary before fellatio and cum swallowing.



Swallowing cum as a cultural Ritual.

Since semen is seen as a sign of masculinity and strength, it is often passed on the younger generation by the older men in the tribes of Papua New Guinea. Papua New Guinea is a small country on the way to Australia that seems to have been skipped by civilization. Papua New Guinea is actually a mixture of both the modern selfie-taking man and the primitive cave jungle man. The primitive jungle men in their quest to get wisdom from their frail elders, give blow jobs to the old men and swallow the thick jungle cum to obtain authority and powers. It is however not clear if the younger men are actually sons of the older men.
cum swallowing papua new guinea
These men are about to have their penises sucked by teenage boys.


So to the original question, to swallow or not to swallow.? I would only repeat myself once, “fuckin just go fucking swallow the fucking jizz”